So it didn't happen this last month and we have decided to go off of the med for a few months for several reasons. We are moving to Dallas which requires finding a regular dr and then getting referred to a fertility specialist. This process takes a few weeks and I am not going to drive 3 hours to Lawton every week to see my doctor now. Plus there is a lot of stress involved in moving and finding another job. With the med in my system I tend to freak out a lot easier...actually it makes me crazy and I cannot deal with all of the stress it adds. I have never dealt well with change whether it is good or bad and having something  in my system that makes my hormones go insane is just not a good idea. We are going to wait until at least January to resume the medicine.

I talked to my doctor and he wanted me to go back on bc pills to control the endometriosis....I told him I will never be on that stuff again. I always had so many issues with it for months and then have been told that it probably isn't effective anyway. It is like my body rejects it. I had been on it since college which is where the problems first started. It controlled the cysts good, but not the endometriosis as well as it should have. More than likely it didn't keep me from getting pregnant either he said. So now I just have to go to the dr regularly to make sure the endometriosis doesn't get so bad that I have to have surgery again. But to be honest I would rather have the surgery than the bc pills....He said my body probably needs to recover anyway so it is a good idea to go off of the meds for a few months. It will happen when we are ready anyway so I am not going to stress and am actually going to try and relax for the first time in 6 months!

Ok so now I know why most doctor's "wash" the sperm before inserting it for an iui. IT HURTS!!! I wasn't laying on the table more than 2 minutes before I felt this horrible pain on my left side and it slowly made its way to about the middle of my abdomen. I have been told that my pain tolerance level is pretty high and I was crying like a baby! I had to call the nurse because I thought something was seriously wrong. They immediately took out the little plastic thing (not sure what the medical term is) and gave me some ibuprofen. About 45 minutes later it finally started going away but I still could barely take a breath. I had to call Jacob to come get me because I didn't want to drive. I was still hurting pretty bad by the time he got there. It still hurts and I have to move VERY carefully or I will double over. The dr said it should pass by tomorrow morning.

I researched iui's a lot before having the first one last month and all the websites said that the sperm should be washed because the fluid has hormones that will make the uterus spasm uncontrollably for most people. Well apparently I am one of those people!! The dr told me that he normally only washes it the first month and while doing that runs tests to be sure it is good. I won't do it again without it being washed and I honestly might take off a month or 2 and try it normally. I would still take the meds because the eggs won't grow on their own but I think I might skip the iui process. Hopefully we won't have to worry about that decision though! Oh and he did say that I had 2 eggs that had ovulated but that could be a negative thing because apparently the egg is supposed to meet up with the sperm before getting to the uterus but in my mind I don't see why it would make much of a difference....Anyway he said I might have 1 other that will ovulate in the next 12 hours from the procedure.

Good news!! Jacob got his paperwork for getting medically retired for the army and for at least 5 more years I will have full army insurance!! Great relief because these procedures and shots have been almost completely covered. This is the army's way of documenting that they take care of family...not so true on any other occasion except this one in my opinion. But I won't complain! =)

I will go see him again next Tuesday because my left ovary is really swollen and has lots of fluid so he wants to check it. Then the following Tuesday will be the test day. Hoping and praying I don't have to do this again!!!

They have finally grown enough! They gave me the shot today and tomorrow at 10:30 I go in for another iui! And I got the bill for the last iui and all we owe is 250 for it!! A little more than I expected but still much better than I have heard from others...I am already swelling up so by tomorrow morning I am pretty sure I might be worse. I have a lot of fluid around both ovaries and the uterus which is why it hurts a little. Not as bad as the first month on the Gonal shots though. I am more ready this time since I went through the iui last month. I am not as nervous, now I just hope it works!

I had my doctors appt today. The eggs are growing a little more but not quite ready for the htc shot. Im taking one shot today and one tomorrow then I will see him on Friday. He is going to do some bloodwork to make sure everything is ok hormonally then either Friday or Saturday I will get the shot. And 24ish hours after that will be the iui! The doctor kept pushing on each ovary because they were swollen again and he wanted to see how tender they were. He kept pushing harder an harder surprised that it wasn't hurting. Of course now that they've been pushed around so much they hurt! Thanks a lot for that one! ;)

I had my dr appt after taking all of the medicine but things arent growing like they should. My biggest egg was on 11 mm and I had a few 6 and 8 mm. It was kinda frustrating and felt like we took a step backward this time. I'm trying to stay positive and it will happen when it's time. I know that but the fear creeps back in of what if it never happens? I go back tomorrow afternoon to see how they are growing and am taking more shots today and tomorrow and he doubled my metformin. It doesn't help anything that this medicine messes with my emotions enough without hearing not so good news. It just means I will have to wait a little longer to try the iui again.

I took the test this morning and it was negative. I kind of knew it because I've been cramping pretty bad the past few days and then yesterday started day 1 of a new month. My shots will come in tomorrow and I will start clomid tomorrow then Femara after that for 5 days then on the 5th day start the shots for 5 days. Hopefully they grow better than last time so we won't have to wait 36 days again!! The dr wasn't really that hopeful this time anyway because the uterine lining did not look good enough for the egg to implant. I was a little more panicked last month because Jacob is almost out of the army and was scared I would lose my insurance but even if they don't let me keep it I will still have it for 180 days after his ets date. So that gives us a little more time with this amazing insurance. We've only had to pay 166 dollars throughout this entire 9 month process so far. Hopefully since he is getting medically retired for 5 years I will be able to keep it for those 5 years but it depends on whoever stamps his paperwork. If not we can afford to pay it but it's nice to not have to! :)